FSDW / DIY Baby™ was created as we knew that children would not want to be conceived using anonymous sperm donors at clinics, where they could know nothing of their origins.
Even though those raising them are the 'real' parents children are still curious about their heritage as we all are! Many DC adults tell us that even having access to this information at 18 was still too late. All most DC adults wanted was information, not a 'parent'. Emotional 'risk' to the child is far more important to our members than the supposed health risks- risks that can be reduced by getting private sperm donor testing and screening.
FSDW are also creating a FREE Donor Dad Registry for all FSDW sperm donors and past recipients (now parents) where no real names need to be used, protecting all from legal issues should either party decide to sue for financial support or shared custody. The contact can be retained using FSDW as a third party but without needing to share information that could be used against you. Private sperm donation is not generally recognised by the legal system.
" I can't find out much about my origins from this sperm bank catalogue Mum.
What's he like?"
If you want your child to have information about their origins even though the man donation sperm will remain known as 'Donor Dad' and not father, then you have come to the right place. Most FSDW donors welcome the opportunity to be contacted by the child is he or she wishes- or to just answer questions.
FSDW / DIY Baby was the first sperm donor connections site of it's kind in the world, created for DC children. Why?
Baby Mia, who weighed 6lb 2oz at birth, made medical history as Britain's first internet sperm baby - conceived with sperm supplied by a stranger on FSDW. Her biological father, a 42-year-old father-of-three from London, who works in reproductive medicine, said he wanted to help a childless couple by offering his sperm for free on the internet through FSDW. This gorgeous little girl is now at school!
FSDW / DIY Baby believe that commercial ART do NOT meet the needs of DC children, parents wishing to choose and find out about their DC child's biological father as a man and not a catalogue number, or the men who want to help others to build families but not without knowing anything about who will be raising their biological child.
Biological relationships MATTER even though it is the parenting that matters most. BOTH define how the child will view themselves, do not use a sperm bank for this reason! Especially not if they offer anonymous sperm donations.
Your CHILD will not want that.
We know this from speaking to so many DC children!
Start off their lives by giving them everything they may want and need. YOU will always be the real parents.
You may believe the 'hype' created by the Press relating to private free sperm donation however do remember that the fertility authorities have a vested financial interest in closing sites
like FSDW down, despite having operated for almost 9 years with NO legal or health issues. Why? The FSDW behaviour code and high expectations for behaviour in the Free Sperm Donations Worldwide secure, moderated, members area.
These comments convey our own thoughts about why the FDA, HFEA and others are so keen to stop private free sperm donation practices.
* Raising Children Conceived Through Sperm Donor Conception- Useful Articles and Information for Parents
Join on Facebook - DIY Baby Child Focused Sperm Donation or follow on Twitter SpermDonation
The 'DIY Baby' online community was originally set up as
'Sperm Donors Worldwide- now more commonly known as
(Free-Sperm-Donations.com) in 2003 to
offer choices to single women,
lesbian and infertile couples- and to enable sperm donors to have more say in who they donated their best swimmers to. There are now over 4000 registered.
FSDW has the most AI ONLY free sperm donors in the world, in one place!
NI (sex) is not permitted. FSDW is AI sperm donations only - read why here
Many men are happy to donate to help women without payment- through AI only, however they want to know that their sperm is going to a woman or couple who are emotionally and financially stable, and likely to be raised with love and kindness, and be given the opportunity to develop to their potential. These are the men we want at FSDW!
FSDW / DIY Baby are proactive supporters of DC (donor conceived) children. Telling young adults about their origins after keeping them secret for so long can raise complicated identity issues so she promotes the sharing of information as early as possible, in a sensitive and age appropriate manner. Parents need a range of supports to be in place for them to feel confident about sharing this information in ways that promote family unity. FSDW offers this help and support- and is creating workshops and resources that will be of benefit to the family as a whole.
The Child Listener™ created The Children Deserve to Know Where They Come From campaign and believes that when adults can make their own choices regarding conception and pregnancy, there can be an increased possiblity for making arrangements that are of greater benefit to children. More information and the potential for earlier contact with the biological father where all parties are in agreements- than is the norm through conventional arrangements regarding sperm donation - eg through a clinic. Although there are risks associated with private arrangements- she can also see many benefits to all involved. Through FSDW they attempt to reduce these risks- NI is not allowed- only AI (for self-insemination) with no payment for sperm and an anomymity.
People have embraced the sperm donor connection site concept- and welcomed the opportunity to
connect in the FSDW Members Only Area- sperm donors know they have the right to choose who they donate to- and members can take the time to find 'their' spern donor. All enjoy being able to make their own arrangement- with some sperm donors choosing to have no involvement post conception, some happy to take on an uncle type role and many willing to discuss a more proactive arrangement- even to formally co-parent.All pages in the FSDW Members Only Area are private- and not publically listed by google.
All agree to the FSDW Behaviour Code and are encourage to have a primary concern for children. This means encouraging potential parents to think carefully about how they are to meet the needs of the child and inform themselves before embarking on this exciting journey.
FSDW members are a mixture of single women, lesbian and infertile couples- from all over the world- who are committed to safe and responsible sperm donation. AI is the only acceptable method of conception* for health, legal and emotional reasons. In our it helps to maintain appropriate boundaries.
The FSDW site is set up like a dating site- but with members joining to connect with sperm donors. There are no guarantees- and everyone is expected, as responsible adults, to carefully consider whether the decision to procede with a private donation or co-parenting agreement is right for them and to take steps to protect themselves at all time. This includes learning about the legal implications, and protecting their health.
Through DIY Baby™ we offer related services- looking at the wider issues- and not just the journey to pregnancy through sperm donor conception.
FSDW/ DIY Baby aim to create and develop a supportive and knowledgeable community worldwide. A range of new services will be offered- in addition to the online connection service available worldwide for members- http://www.free-sperm-donations.com/members
* other than in Canada
Home Self-Insemination Kits and Products
DIY Baby™ offer a range of products and services- from home self-insemination kits, fertility aids, private sperm donor agreement documents to fun and funky pregnancy wear and items. We aim to help and support you every step of the way- from simply considering your pregnancy options- through to raising your gorgeous child!
FSDW is supported by The Child Listener™
'The Child Listener™' was given her name because of her work
with disengaged teenagers and families in crisis. Children and teens speak of her ability
to not only listen to them but also actually hear what it is they are trying to say!
She is an advocator of child's rights- and in ensuring that all children have the opportunities they deserve- regardless of the situation they were brought into. She is aware of the additional difficulties experienced by children who were conceived through sperm donation. As this is something that is happening more and more often within the modern world she wanted to create a place where people can do this as safely and responsibly as possible- not only focussing on the conception and pregnancy, but also in meeting the emotional needs of the child born as a result. She offers:
- Workshops and Seminars for Prospective Parents- Considering Sperm Donation
- Workshops and Seminars for Men Considering Sperm Donation and Co-Parenting Options
outside of a Licenced Facility
- Workshops and Seminars for Parents of Children Born Through Sperm Donation- either Raising the Child/ Children with or without the Donor.
These include specific courses for adults who have chosen - or who are thinking about - a
co-parenting relationship- where there is no sexual or romantic relationship between the parents.
The Child Listener™ will help you work out a plan that will help you to communicating effectively and raise your child (or children) together despite your differences. This is a fairly new way to parent- and she encourages parents to use a preventative approach to parenting difficulties. It's like back to front divorced parents!- avoiding the conflict and stress- and learning to develop a strong relationship that benefits the parents and also the child..
In a range of news articles within Australia a gorgeous FSDW baby was mentioned- however what wasn't hightlighted was that Jacob's parents chose to offer him the opportunity to meet his 'donor daddy' and know of his origins- and they chose a man who they felt happy to fill this role.
They made a decision that will benefit their son far more than a fertility clinic could have offered. At best Jacob (and his parents) could request information when he turns 18 if they have used a clinic. His biological father (donor dad) would have had no choice in who his sperm would go to- ie who would raise his child- even though he isnt actively involved or wanting any parental rights. If you read articles about children conceived using sperm from fertility clinics you will realise how little the authorities have to offer the child. The sperm donor and Jacob's parents should be congratulated- not condemned by authorities for using fresh sperm (even though they used AI and not sex) which wasnt quarantined. How many couples do this when deciding to have a child? We should be talking about the real issues relating to modern parenting and sperm donation arrangements worldwide - issues the authorities seem determined to ignore. It is time we started to scrutinise the authorities- and how badly they are meeting not only demand but also the rights and needs of all concerned.
The authorities appear to believe that men are no longer donating sperm to clinics because they can remain anonymous- and it is true in part; men do not want a child who they have no knowledge of just turning up at their doorstep at 18. However that is the key- they want to be informed- to have chosen the parents and have the ability to be given information throughout the child's life- perhaps even meeting him early on. Some would even like to co-parent. This is not a site where men choose to donate sperm anonymously- it is a site where they can make their own choices about the whole process. Again the authorities are missing the point- and in their rampage against the free sperm donations site they will alienate people still further.
Also ask about our DIY Baby™ workshops and pamphlets- supporting families with donor conceived children. Sharing stories, finding solutions- promoting stable, loving families where children grow up feeling wanted, supported, accepted and cherished. Private sperm donor and co-parenting arrangements can work well for all. I hope to be able to offer you all the help and support you need through this exciting journey.
DIY Baby- Creating Choices. Building Happy Families!
Welcome to the FSDW Site
- The Child Listener™ - A Voice for Kids
Over 2600 babies are known to have been created by our wonderful 'DIY Baby' sperm donors- with apparently more sperm donors - and therefore more success stories- than through regulated clinics. I believe that these amazing men donate through FSDW as it offers them more options regarding who they donate to, and on what terms. Many are happy for an update of the baby at birth and to be contactable by email should there be any health questions later in life etc, some to be a distant uncle and some to co-parent! As children deserve to know where they come from, any arrangement that allows for increased information (even when the donor plays no active parenting role) is promoted. As of Jan 2011 Free Sperm Donations Worldwide (FSDW) donors were been given the opportunity to complete a questionnaire to give to recipients- that can then be shared with the resulting child in a sensitive way, at an appropriate time. Likes, dislikes, family history, quirky stories etc. Making him real even if the arrangement is that he is simply the sperm donor daddy, and no more, post conception. The option to request anonymous donation is also being removed completely. We wish to see all sperm donors as 'known' donors.
Thanks for your email. I would have kept in touch and told you about any good news in the coming New Year...fingers crossed...
I have found the right donor (with careful consideration), from your brilliant site :)
We have communicated on a numerous occasions by email and spoken a few times via mobile. He caters to all my expectations... He has agreed to start AI in January. By that time I would have been on folic acid tablets long enough and checked anything out including his status of health etc.
Woods, the Donor has been a perfect gentlemen and been straight forward of his expectations to what type of involvement he wishes - which is contact when the child ( he or she), reaches 18 years old, or earlier if the child wishes it...which is want I wish too...I am travelling to him, staying in an hotel and I am taking a friend with me. Woods lives not far from the station.
I was very surprised and impressed with your FSDW site, especially too how much information you offer. I was very impressed with the information about putting the 'child's needs' first - being honest with he or she about their parentage. This worried me a great deal but your site covered a lot of ground and has made me less anxious about how to approach this sensitive issue to my child in the near future. Yes, I agree honesty is the best approach.
I cannot think of anything to improve your FSDW site...you have covered everything...if I do think of anything I will email you again.
I was introduced to your site via a friend who has been a surrogate mother in the past, so she is aware of what is involved practically, physical and emotionally etc. She is the friend who is companying me to London.
Fingers crossed that all goes well, which I am sure with the donor I have chosen. I will let you know how it goes or if anything is not above board.
Again **** thank you for the opportuity you have given me by creating your site, without it I would not have found a donor.
Speak soon V*******
Well here we are, at the end of 2009, a strange year, nerve wracking year, but a wonderful year.
It was a year ago that I made the decision to join your site, at 34 knowing I was ready to become a Mum. I was amazed at the response, but to me I knew I had to find the right donor for this to work, not down to characteristics but just a feeling..
On January 4th I had an email from someone, who was outside my age bracket that I was searching in, from another country (i'm in the UK and he was in Canada) but something was very easy & after a
couple of emails it was very apparent, if I was to go ahead with this whole process, he was the one.
Luckily he felt the same way about me, after choosing who he wanted to help very carefully, and
had been registered for some time.
So In May, we met for the first time as he was in the UK, my dates weren't quite right,
ovulation happened 2 days prior to his arrival. In June we tried again, but again the dates
were only just within the fertile window, but it was third time lucky when I fell pregnant when
he was back in the UK in July.
I'm now 25 weeks through, we have an amazing friendship for life - he has mde this a very
positive and amazing journey so far.
So I just want to say to anyone, be open in what you think you are looking for, find the
RIGHT donor and don't base that on geography alone.
So Thank you ****, for your wonderful site, without it, I wouldn't be pregnant now &
I woudln't have met this wonderful, generous man who will be a friend for life.....
All the best
Read Articles About Sperm Donation Worldwide
A few more FSDW success stories!
Hi - just a quick message to let you know that after
getting in touch with our donor through your site we are
Thank you so much for the worthwhile
work you do.R and J x
Hi , hope you are well, Just thought we best update you with our progress, We thankyou very much from the bottom of our hearts, we are pregnant after our first attempt, and today it was confirmed my partner is carrying twins.
Thankyou is not a strong enough word we can use. Our donor was excellent
and we have be able to build up a great raport with him. Once again
this service you provide has helped us achieve our dream .C and A
I would like to send you my thanks on behalf of myself , the gay couple I helped and our son who was born a few days ago, Your work is really important and helped us all achieve something in our lives which we wanted so very much.
Thanks again and all the best to your organisation for the future. D
Hi , I just wanted to let you know that I wish to cancel my subscription to your profiles site for now as we have succesfully found a suitable donor (Yay!!) I'm so pleased and cannot wait to get started!!!
I have some more tests to complete at the doctors and will then be ready to get going,
I may purchase the fertile focus thingy at some point soon....
Please could you take my name off the list when this months subscription is up.
Many thanks for your help, I couldn't believe a site like this existed at first, it's superb
S and M xxx
I thought you might like an update, which i have only just got round to now because i have been so busy with my little girl. **** was born on ***** and is now nearly 3 months old. I cannot decribe how happy i am, she is just perfect and her big brother adores her! It is thanks to this website where i found the right donor, who is also very happy to have given our family a little girl, and we will remain friends. Thank you so so much.
Please feel free to show this
on your site, if you do i would also like to say, congratulations to everyone who has become a parent through using this site and lots of luck to those still waiting.
Hi - just to let you know I'm leaving the members area. Your website has been successful in bringing together two
like-minded singleton's to have a child together whilst were still young ('ish)! Thank you for this - we'll keep you updated, hopefully a healthy happy baby before the end of the year. kind rgds h**
More Testimonials On The Subscription Page
The HFEA and other regulatory bodies are trying to close down private free sperm donation sites. The FDA in the USA are already targeting men - see the Trent Arsenault cases.
An article by Dr Max Pemberton in 20120 sums it up very nicely- as he says that
'...objections smack of little more than nanny-stateism' .
By Max Pemberton 7:00AM BST 04 Oct 2010
The internet has revolutionised the way we do many things and perhaps it’s most enduring and significant impact has been on how we communicate with one another. For some single women, it has even changed the way they can get pregnant. The Human Fertilisation and Embryo Authority (HFEA) last week announced that it plans to launch an investigation into the legality of websites set up to put women in contact with sperm donors. This follows the recent conviction of two businessmen who acted as “sperm brokers”. They ran a website that couriered fresh samples from donors to women for home insemination.
Most of these websites, however, simply provide a facility for women to make contact with potential donors and the individuals make their own arrangements. But the HFEA claims that the websites are putting women’s health at risk because they are unregulated and there is no official way of screening the donors for sexually transmitted infections such as HIV. Instead it is the sole responsibility of the individuals involved to make arrangements to be screened and ensure that the donor is disease free.
In contrast, fertility clinics operate within specific safeguards, which include screening donors prior to donation and storing samples for six months before use to ensure the male donor is negative for HIV. It is therefore true that there is a risk associated with DIY insemination.
But the HFEA’s objections smack of little more than nanny-stateism. I can’t help but feel they are reacting in this way because their nose had been put out of joint at the thought of people taking fertility into their own hands and undermining their authority. They have helped create an industry around getting pregnant and don’t like the idea that there are some aspects of it that they cannot regulate or control.
In essence what the HFEA is attempting to do is place restrictions around the actions of two consenting adults and what they do in the privacy of their own homes. I really don’t see that this is in their remit. The notion is absurd. What’s to stop women from joining a dating website, meeting someone and sleeping with them and falling pregnant that way? Is the HFEA proposing to ban all forms of dating, just in case there is sperm involved? In a way, all these websites do is provide the modern equivalent of a singles bar, but with the added benefit that both the man and the woman are aware what the other one really wants.
The rhetoric surrounding the condemnation of these sites is also highly patronising to women. There is a suggestion that women, overcome by raging hormones and deafened by the ticking of their biological clock, are acting irrationally and cannot be trusted to make decisions. The truth is that if a single woman wants to get pregnant, she can. It’s been going on for millennia without the help of the internet. Surely it’s better that women are able to make an informed, reasoned decision, get to know the man and request a medical examination on their terms, rather than picking up a stranger in a bar. In fact, the women who use these sites are far from passive, vulnerable victims. They know what they want and are actively taking control in order to obtain it. They are more than capable of analysing the risk to themselves and can take responsibility for their decisions. It also seems to me that this is an example of women making a stand and rejecting the unnecessary commercialisation of fertility, which is now so prevalent. Why should they be forced to pay thousands of pounds to procure sperm through “official” clinics if they don’t want to? Since when did the medical profession have a monopoly on sperm? Of course, that’s not to say there aren’t potential problems with such websites. Legally, the donor remains liable for child maintenance and although couples may draw up contracts stating the donor will have no involvement in the child’s life this is not enforceable under the law. But it’s the HFEA’s responsibility to ensure that people are aware of the law relating to this, not to try to stop the practice itself. After all, men have been making women pregnant long before the HFEA.
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with Emotional Intelligence.